The truth about beeing a teen mum.

im kinda just wanted to tell people the truth about being a teen mum and just a mum in Genreal.
Loads of teenage girls get pregnant each day so my mistake then others actually try to have a kid as younge as 13.. They think its all fun and games; that their parents will support them; they don't think of the early morning, the sleepless nights, tidying, washing , ironing, fincance and more..
Each month is a struggle to try and support me and Rebecca by myself. Rebeccas father doesn't give me a penny or even belives Rebecca is his for that matter. I know she is; but he doesn't belive me. So refuses to have nothing to do with her; i work 4days each month getting in around £200 that is just about enough to live on these days. I don't buy new cloths for myself, or get my haircut every month (well thats a lie i get it done at college for £2.50 now im a student), if i want some cloths it tends too from me saving up £10 each month to put towards a new top or something. When i go food shopping for me and Rebecca i buy basic stuff yet it still comes to £25 for a week, so in a month that can cost £100, thats without of the basic things a baby needs. To top that off to get a bus pass for one term cost me £111 i had to borrow money of family to pay for that and still paying them back now.
Each day im at college i come home tidy the house, do the washing, Ironing then pick up Rebecca from daycare at 5:30pm again by public transsport but my inhertince money goes on which leaves me with £200 again which i put into Becz funds for when shes older and if she does become pregnant at a younge age which i will advice her about safe sex and protection and most likley get her on the pill at 13, she will have money to support herself and won't have to struggle like i;v had too. The statics add up if your a teen mom your son/daughter will most likley become a parents as a teen.
Education is hard struggling with being a mum, being there for Rebecca and still having to complete the task set and trying to get GCSE'S. Most morning i have to be out the door by 6am which involes getting both me and Rebecca up at 5:15am to get ready for the day ahead first of all i have to take her to daycare which is 1hr away (joys of living in the country side) then i have to catch anther bus to get me to the correct stop to catch my bus to college which will get me there for 9.
When i first had Rebecca i was suffering from depression i didn't want anything to do with her; gave her to my parents to take care off and so on. Im not a perfect parent. I was put on medication to help me with the depression which included self harming & trying to end my life. It was a mixture of what had happened in my life which caused the depression. I couldn't deal with everything. I went to a thearpist who helped me out alot. its been 3 months since iv been of medication and 2months since i last saw a conceller. Our life is improving but it makes me sick that i couldn't bare to look at my daughter on her first few months; still to this day i regrett it.
I still have moments but thats not because of Rebecca its because everything gets stressful espically when i owe the banks money and don't have the money and getting letters through asking for the money like a few months ago when i was living with Sam; i went into -£500 and at that point i didn't have anyone to ask as i wasn't speaking to my family. Luckily i went into my christmas money and payed it off just means i have like nothing for christmas now but thats okay.
The theres friends/social life; i lost most my friends i suppose that was linked to the depression. None of them cared what i did' they just care about booze/drugs. But i learnt there not real friends, i miss going out every night, seeing my friends everyday, But i made the decission when i choose to keep Rebecca that would have to stop; i get 3days each month babysitting free when i go out' thats becasue of family again. I wouldn't get that if i didn't have my family.

I could go on...

So to everyone who thinks everything about being a teen mum is perfect your wronge

'Mess Happens when you talk to people you don't know'

So the tital pretty easy for you to read.

well its just basically today i was talking to my step mum and she said that i shouldn't post on my blog and stuff i thought about it and was like hmm yeah i suppose because 'mess' does happen when you give out information of where you live what part of the country and pictures. Anyone can see them. So this is going to change my blog.

Jess-xo

Gift...

Thats just sick.

Well yesterday at work, we we're talking about police,army, blah blah blah. Then my manger told me a true story which happened to an officer near us... ( she knows this story because her friend was the call taker for the emergancy)

Well Some younge lad crashed in his car, his car tubbled over and he couldn't get out so he called rescue services this police man was first on seen the guy seemed fine but he couldn't move him for safety reasons. The guy in the car was texting and having a joke with the officer saying once im out we're all have to go for a drink... The car started to smoke so he got his fire extinguisher out his car the guy was still texting and getting panicky... flames started to start but the officer kept putting it out.. Then they thought the fire people where there but it wasn't it was the ambulance so they got there exinghure out but the fire was reaching the man he was screaming, yelling but still texting his family to say goodbye. The emergancy services saw the man died but couldn't do anything about it and had to stay proffesional they closed the road becasue it was  a fatal.
Rush hour came people started having a go at the officer because the road was closed, although there was anther way through the place. The Police man saw everything which had happened a man burnt to a krisp and then had to deal with stupid pathtic people who are so selfish they ONLY CLOSE ROADS FOR FATAL. so next time a road is closed because of the police rember the person who may have lost there live and then think of the family of that person and then the emergancy services who dealed with it.

Sorry

I haven't posted for some time,  I can't really update now, so i'll just say im moving again; back in with my step mum - Lord help me, Suppose my personal situation has changed. Anyways; Here are my chickens they've already moved in to my step mums. There huge now ( hang on someone just told me there english pheastants? Lol same thing)

Popcorn! on his new Land! :) 

My Nails <33 sorry i just had to post my love for these. 

Well my operation/Plastics is tuesday at JR. So Kindaa weird to have it taken out as its causing alode of pains. 

Reasons i left stardoll.

well where do i start on stardoll royalty last night some crazy shit happened. I kinda lost it because the girl called me dumb and saying she couldn't understand how i write. They called me load of other names but to be honest the dumb part kinda got to me... my family call me dumb because i won't ever go to uni, i won't ever get a well payed job making £50,000 each year or own my own bussiness like my uncle who makes millions each year; But let me tell you why im so frickin' dumb. When i was younge in year 3-4 my attendence was great i attenended everyday but in year 5-6 that started to change my mum relied on me more and more to do house work, she beleived i would never ammount to something and i use to stay at home and do what she should of been thats being a mother; yeah we had court orders and fines but that didn't change nothing. My confidence had litreally crushed- I belived her words of that i was worthless in socity of today. Anyways when it came to secondary school i stood up to my mum, well my Nan was my carrer and went into year 7 at an alright mixed school; i never liked it there, i feel in with the wrong crowd mainly people in the upper years and followed them, but one day i was sexually assulted im not going into detail about it because i don't need too. My family till this day never knew what happened only my thearpist know. They knew it happened but didn't understand how i was feeling i completly stopped going to school and was sufferring from anixty and Depression they would try and force me to go out well in year 8 i thought you know what i can do go back but then things got shitty then the boy got a transeffer to our six form college who sexually assulted me. They school knew records of what had happened but still moved him to the school. So i would go in get called names like 'slut' 'whore' and more names again i tryed to take my own life and was taken to hospital i did so 3 more times after that... i stopped going to school completely then. I didn't see the point.. anyways i was pretty much left to do my own thing because know one understood me. Anyways thats the story of why im dumb just so you know you crushed my confidence. Im not going to College no more; im not even going to bother with anything because im dumb.

Bits And Bobs.

well today a friend who i met done the shop of all places all actually lives over the road came over. We where both paying for our items done the local shop and walked home together and got talking then, shes a bit older of me, she married but her Husband is in R.A.F. Well today she just knocked on my door and said she had a lode of stuff for Rebecca she needs to get rid off; So i said oh right ill came look. Went other to hers and everything was in perfect condition! so on Sunday we're going to go out together shes lovely. I only payed £10 For everything which is a bargiinnnn. So here are the pictures. (Mind my messy Flat).

Rocking Horse for when shes older. 

Baby doll Buggy for whens shes older aswell. 

Cloths!! which will help me alot as there are some wintery bits. 

Walker and rocker. :) 

Same! :D

Kinda Like Blogging!

Well My days seem to be empty Rebecca is at day care now; Which is weird for me & For her. However when shes gone i try and keep busy, washing, ironing, tidying & get dinner ready then everyday i walk back to the Nursery talk to Lidia, see whats shes done today and then walk home...

So Back to house hunting or flat hunting for a place to rent today -____-.

The Rain Flooding the balcony thingy at the flat! excuse the bucket are landlord left it here.

The Rain Flooding the balcony thingy at the flat! excuse the bucket are landlord left it here.

My Suzzy! 3 Christmas ago. With Her New T-shirt!

Yes it says Bitch on the back of it. 

Little Posser!

Princesss

Flat Shopping.

Well im moving again soon. This time to a smaller place and its so much more cheaper to rent. I went to look at the property and its perfect. Its got a garden its quite old but is modern inside. I found it on RightMove So i already had an idea what it looked like when i moved in so here it is. 

Little Kitchen. 

Bathroom. Probably the only room i didn't like. 

It looks bigger in Real Life than this picture. Mine and Sams Room

Rebeccas room not very big but will do. 

Living room! 

Tears.

So i got tragus piercing on Wednesday and today it has sunk into my skin. Causing Headaches, hard to hear and sallowness, the Piercer wasn't open today to go back but what shes done is put a nose bar instead off a different bar which was meant for this. I was litreally crying well i still am now. Its caused a massive;  In my ear, I got a picture not a very clear one to show you what i mean. Its the little red dot on the left side... if you can see it. believe it or not a piercing is in there. 

Update for 5/9

New Blog...

well im kind of bored and upset so i thought i would blog. Unfortuntly i won't be adding pictures for the simple reason off that i don't trust many people. I have a family blog well not yet im going to make one and may give it out to 2 people who i trust with everything.
So last week was so good. Im sad its over.
Friday - I worked not that exicting but it was good.
Saturday - I worked and then me and Sam decided to announce are news and my uncle threw a party in his flat with Sams Family and My Family- well not all my family just some of them. He said he'd arrange transport and all that stuff which he did and it was a party bus layed on with Champaign i hate champaign so being me i had Rebeccas juices and i poured some off that into my drink. Haha. It tasted better after that; it was a good night. i suppose i should tell people the news? me and Sam are taking our relionship to the next level and have decided to move in with me and Rebecca and my Brother.
Sunday - I was Back at work - yeah i work alot but i need the money. although Sam Or Ollie both look after Becz when i'am at work they where both at work aswell. So Sams Mum came to the rescue; i bought her some flowers to say thankyou.
Monday - Monday Monday What did i do  ekkke! i can't rember i think i might have slept alot and gone to the park.
Tuesday - My sister came up we got a hotel with Sam & Becz and her. It was nice to chill out with her; i have to say Sam is great literally; hes taken such a father roll to Rebecca as there more trouble with Trevor but where is the surprise there?
Wednesday- We all went out with the work girls and Guys and pretty much got hammered; Hungry horse is cheap for drinks. Unforgettably my sister had gone away by that time but Rebecca came along and we went home at 10pm although the taxi was a rip off. £50 from Witney to Oxford. -__- still it was fun.
Thursday - We Jammed at home. Like you do and just watched TV in our Pjs and then went out for a meal in the night which was lovely.
Friday - Which is today is kind off upsetting my brother has once again been getting into the wrong crowd and basically kicked him out of the flat. Its quite without him but he stayed out till 5am last night and came back high- i was getting texts all night from him - 'don't leave out the juice i feel like im flying' he slept till about 3pm and then i spoke to him which didn't go well but Sam was in the room next door. Although if it did Kick off my brother is 6ft4 and Sam isn't that tall; but i told him he can come back once hes sorted himself out. Sometimes you got to be tough loving to people. Who knows who he will choose- his old life or me & his niece.

Well thats just a weekly update. Talk Soon.